V

The Vortex of Knowing

In the essay Stuck in the Mudaphor, an opinion was expressed about the transformative power of "the subtle" over that of "the straightforward" when dealing with consciousness and the "knowing" of things. The opinion expressed was one of seeing transformation as the byproduct of an interdependence between both the subtle and the straightforward, or... the conscious and unconscious, or... the intellect and intelligence. In the course of making this point, an observation was made about how many in the world of tarot become stuck in the world of the subtle, and subsequently come to marginalize, and vilify all things straightforward. This, it was suggested, is not a healthy way to think. In the Stuck in the Mudaphor essay, a "map of consciousness" was offered to help us visually follow the argument of how opposite realms of perception face off against each other with hostility, or... come together in interdependence to experience transformation at its best.

This chart is in essence the same as the "Map of Consciousness" chart that is seen in the essay Dreams and Dreaming, the only difference being that this one is curved... like a pendulum (if rotated 135 degrees clockwise!). Take a long look at this chart. Where are you on this arc of consciousness? Stuck in the fantasy, out of touch with reality? Stuck in the reality, with no imagination? Formerly stuck in the reality and now stuck in the fantasy? Or bringing both sides together as one? Does one hand wash the other? Or are you at war with the hate you have been taught to have for one half of yourself, and everyone not like you? Is that what tarot is meant to be, a sanctuary for lopsided thinking that shuts out half of life? The path from C to B is the path of "sobering up" mentioned in the essay Imagine a Reason to Believe. The path from D to B is the path of "letting go" or relaxing, mentioned in the essay Dreams and Dreaming. Lots of people find themselves stuck to the Reckoning side of this diagram, and view enlightenment as a path leading to the other extreme on the Imagining side - where they proceed to get just a stuck. The theory being presented here is to suggest that true enlightenment comes from the merging of both sides in a delicate balance of influence. That's why this study of consciousness doesn't call this heightened awareness enlightenment but engrayment!

When the verbal can't visualize, and the visual can't verbalize, communication is usually difficult. When people like this interact, they usually go to their strengths and often proclaim any opposite form of perception as unenlightened. The diagram above suggests that this is not the best way to think. However difficult it may be to integrate our opposing forms of consciousness, it is suggested the we in fact don't really "know" anything about anything until these opposite sides do come together. Both forms of thought are vital for knowing... but each one alone can not tell the whole story. In fact, the very notion of either one having any kind of story to tell at all implies the presence of an audience ready to listen. Who is that audience? Who is the willing or unwilling recipient of the others story? This study suggests that each side longs to tell its story to the other. Whether that other side of our consciousness is listening or not is a matter of how healthy our thinking is. How well each side is able to understand and use the content of what is passed along is a matter of how healthy our thinking is.

-----

The Needle and The Groove

Psychology says that every male has a female side, and every female has a male side. Unfortunately, many males never realize their female side, and many females never realize their male side... and as a result, retreat to their strengths to vilify the other in a never ending battle of the sexes, and personal perceptions. In this war of sexes, advantage or prestige is often sought out through the elevating of the SubConscious and UnConscious to that of Master over the Slave of our Conscious minds. It is theorized that the UnConscious knows all, and that the Conscious self is nothing more than a slave or puppet to that master. Overall, the idea of relationships having a dominant member and a submissive member makes sense, and is not inherently unbalanced... in fact it actually helps keep opposites from being static, and instead promotes a dynamic interchange. But... the way people use such things to declare one type of person intrinsically, or congenitally, or genetically inadequate... or fundamentally unable, or unworthy, has dangerous overtones when such patterns become imposed upon society at large, or... a group of tarot enthusiasts.

Some think that ALL intelligence comes from the "subtle" side of our consciousness and that the "straightforward" side is only an otherwise impotent servant of an all powerful master. That may be true. The subtle intelligence of our SubConscious and UnConscious may indeed know all there is to be known, and in that sense be considered a master to our conscious minds. But this essay hopes to point out just how MUCH that master NEEEEEEEDS the slave of straightforward intellect, in order to be, or become ANYTHING that is "known." If the intelligence of the subtle contains all that is to BE known, then it is like a great book that goes unread, until a straightforward intellect opens it up and turns it into something that IS known. Without the intellect, intelligence is like a record, without a record player. The record has all kinds of content on it, but without the needle of the player it is never "known" or realized... not even to the Self of a single person, and certainly not to others.

A needle being put into a groove is another sexual metaphor - to be added to the one from the Stuck in the Mudaphor essay - for how the subtle and straightforward - whether between actual people or between the male and female halves of a single person - NEEEEEED to work together, in order to have the most transformative experience possible - that of hearing the message that is on the record, being played by the needle. It is only when needle and record come together that sound happens. Record alone - no sound. Needle alone - no sound. Record and needle together - sound! In the same way...: Egg alone - no life. Sperm alone - no life. Egg and sperm together - life. Record alone - not transformative. Needle alone - not transformative. Record and needle together - most transformative.

Here is a diagram to illustrate this idea of straightforward record player needle and subtle record groove coming together to make the beautiful music of the spheres. Is that record groove the Akashic Record groove?

In the essay Verse 82, a diagram/mandala is offered that attempts to illustrate the idea of how a theorized Godforce could be seen as external to a universe that is its reflection (see Verse 82 elsewhere on this site). Shown above, this same diagram is also useful for illustrating this idea of how the subtle and the straightforward work together like a record player needle in a record groove. In this analogy, The Absentia represents the motor of the record player, as it equates with the more popular concept of "Prime Mover." Our theoretical model of existence is then equivalent to the straightforward record needle, while the infinite spiral of ever expanding knowledge is represented by the record groove... which is itself a literal spiral!

Some people believe in something called The Akashic Records wherein every action, thought, feeling, emotion and experience of humankind has been recorded for all time. The spiraling record groove of this needle and groove metaphor could represent just such an idea - all the information that is possible... going unread... until a record player needle of consciousness falls upon it to give it life in this world of ours. Another analogy for this idea of opposites working together could be that of an inventor with a room full of salvaged junk. That room full of junk would be analogous to those Akashic Records, a warehouse of intelligence sitting on shelves waiting to be brought together by an inventive mind of intellect. Yet another analogy for this master of content requiring a slave of reading could be the relationship between a computer hard drive and an operating system. A hard drive full of data is not much good without an operating system to read it. And an operating system with no hard drive, or no data on that hard drive, is equally deficient. Another analogy that emphasizes the Master to Slave idea is a puppet being operated by strings. The Puppetmaster has all the content of the performance, but can't present it without his puppet. Likewise, the puppet has no purpose without the content. But is this Slave and Master relationship real, in the design of the universe?

-----

Slave and Master

Who is the Slave and who is the Master? Given the theories of interdependence already being suggested in this essay, as well as the Stuck in the Mudaphor essay, and everywhere else around this site, such determinations can remain elusive, and in fact can at times appear to fluctuate. In one way, we need intelligence first, in order to give it voice with intellect. Other times we start with intellect and only find intelligence by "connecting the dots" we've collected through analytical investigation. Sometimes an artist has something to say and lays out the bits, looking for something that will unify them as a whole. Other times an artist lets a wholistic vision take shape spontaneously. Sometimes the inventor goes looking for parts. Other times the parts suggest an invention. The first thing we want to do with a whole is break it up into digestible bits. The first thing we want to do with digestible bits is unify them into a whole. Is there always just one side of this equation that is Master?

Some might say that we can't "connect the dots" of data with wholistic unity until we actually have the analytical dots of data to connect... i.e. collect the dots, then... connect the dots with theory. Are the dots of data the master, and the connections we make the slaves serving to connect them? Whether the wholistic intelligence of connections comes first or the analytical intellect of individual data... there will usually be nothing of note, until the two come together, like record player needle and record groove. Like a box of Tinker Toys, our minds are full of little round bits of data, and little connecting rods that link them together into shapes or theories. Sometimes the wholistic blueprint of what to build comes first. Sometimes our intellect invents as it goes. Sometimes form follows function. Sometimes function follows form. So who is Slave and who is Master?

As unsavory as it may sound to some, this "Master and Slave" type of relationship has some merit in the design of certain universal symmetries. Unfortunately, this relationship has been used by many cultures around the world in its reverse formation to give undo emphasis to the "straightforward" people of the world, allowing them to dominate the "subtle" people for centuries. A situation many try to reverse back again with their vilification of the straightforward as being less transformative than the subtle, and their establishment of "subtle" sanctuaries where the straightforward are fair game for ridicule and/or pity (see Stuck in the Mudaphor and The Pentacle Person elsewhere on this site). Elsewhere on this site I discourage this kind of manipulation by suggesting that we never forget the equally important contribution of the subtle to the design of our theoretical model of existence being put forth everywhere on this site (see Sexual Preference within the book All Things Are Numbers elsewhere on this site).

In another location I suggest an interpretation of a pattern that is the reverse of what many cultures have utilized in the past, by putting the unity of nothingness in sequence before the unity of everythingness in a trinity of development from the paradox of The Absentia, through the chaos of nothingness, to the order of everythingness (see The Three Unities elsewhere on this site). Described as The Cosmic Waltz, this 1, 2, 3 trinity of sequential development is meant to be viewed as virtually instantaneous. But, for those who choose to label parts as master and slave, this sequence would suggest that The Absentia is the ultimate master to the slave of chaos and nothingness, or, our UnConscious and SubConscious realms... while in sequence, the chaos of nothingness and the UnConscious would be master to the slave of order and everythingness, or, our PreConscious and Conscious realms of thought... which in turn would be master to the slave of our physical bodies and physical senses. (see diagram below).

Who is slave and who is master? Every expression makes an impression. Every impression needs to be expressed. UnConscious feeds the Conscious expressions of Mind, Spirit, Soul and Heart. Conscious serves the UnConscious through Sound, Sight, Touch and Scent. The fife physical sense collect the dots. The five psychic sense connect the dots. Once connected, each wholistic vision of unity becomes another dot that is collected... with others... and unified further.

The UnConscious may be the master, feeding our Conscious minds all the knowledge of the universe, but this essay argues that this is not a one way affair of a master manipulating a slave like puppeteer manipulating a puppet. No... it is being suggested here that the relationship between master and slave is much more interdependent and reciprocal than any conventional master and slave relationship we might look to in cultures and societies. In more conventional "Master and Slave" relationships, either side could ultimately survive alone, without the other, if allowed or desired. However, in the "Master to Slave" relationship of consciousness, interdependence and reciprocity is a much greater factor. Consciousness may have begun with a sequence involving a master leading to a slave (in the form of paradox birthing chaos and chaos birthing order), but ultimately, once our cyclical universe has been put into motion - like the string leaving a top analogy given in the book All Things Are Numbers... the relationship between opposites becomes that of an endless loop of impressions and expressions that influence both sides of this consciousness equation equally (see Angular Momentum/Dynamic Equilibrium in the book All Things Are Numbers elsewhere on this site).

-----

The Vortex of Knowing

Below is a diagram that illustrates the opinion put forth so far - that the slave to master relationship of consciousness is not a one way affair from UnConscious intelligence to Conscious intellect, but is in fact a reciprocal, and cyclical relationship that fluctuates... depending on where we choose to enter what is ultimately an infinite cycle of endless looping reciprocity. People with a bias toward conscious intellect will enter there, and see it as the master to the slave of unconscious intelligence. People with a bias toward unconscious intelligence will enter there, and see it as the master to the slave of conscious intellect. Healthy minded people with no such bias will recognize the interdependence of both sides - like record player needle and record goove, or hard drive and operating system or room full of junk and inventor... or egg and sperm.

Ultimately, every thing can be reduced to a pattern... and every pattern elevated to a thing. This diagram shows many important things. Take some time and study it well. The text shows us things and entities of shape. The drawing shows us patterns and relationships of meaning. It would be hard to understand one without the other. One is only master to a slave by virtue of how we enter what is ultimately an endless loop of reciprocity. The only way to really know anything about anything is to listen with BOTH ears!!

But before we go to far, take note, in the diagram above - which I call The Vortex of Knowing - how the spiraling of numbers does not continue infinitely... they in fact merge together, and... like the eye of a hurricane, form an eye. The eye is a circle, not a spiral. The spiral is what makes the circle rotate, thus leading us from a chosen point of entry, into an infinite cycle with no point of entry. If opposites don't exchange sides in this way, there is no rotation. Thus, what might not be realized is how one can choose which side to use as a point of entry, while... at the same time... without choosing, the other side will also enter in tandem. Thus in choosing one point of entry, we may think that we are the male master telling our female side to "take these collected things (from my five physical/conscious senses) and synthesize them into connected patterns of meaning." Or... we may think we are the female master telling our male side to "take these connected patterns (from my five psychic senses) and analyze them into collected things of substance." But... ultimately... we do both, simultaneously... usually without realizing it at all. People of unbalanced minds will usually realize one of these perspectives and ignore the contribution made to "knowing" that is made by the other, and when made to realize just how much they are also using their other side, be astonished, amazed, and... in some cases, appalled and disgusted... choosing to deny any such proof of any association with the other side of their self that they have been taught to reject and despise as a condition of studying and using tarot effectively. This study of consciousness would prefer to not do that. What if we all didn't do that?

In the Numerical Tarot deck the spiral that emerges from the body/science point of entry, and ends with the analysis of things, is illustrated with the suits of Addition/Diamond/Coins and Subtraction/Club/Staves. Likewise, the spiral that emerges from the paradox/religion point of entry, and ends with the synthesis of patterns, is illustrated with the suits of Multiplication/Heart/Cups and Division/Spade/Sword. In other essays around this site it is suggested that the two positive suits, or the two negative suits, each be thought of as a set or unit... one (Addition/Diamond/Coins and Subtraction/Club/Staves) revealing a physical cause or effect upon a reading, and the other (Multiplication/Heart/Cups and Division/Spade/Sword) revealing the correlative feelings or emotions that coincide with the physical actions and thoughts of the other suit. In this way, our linear progress through a number line reveals the same interdependence of consciousness as is made visible in this Vortex of Knowing diagram.

Alternatively, each of these paired suits (i.e. Addition/Diamond/Coins and Multiplication/Heart/Cups for example) can also be examined alone, for what they bring to the table regarding looping reciprocity. When viewed this way, the "impressive" or "male" half of each number line (the 1,2,3 and 4) becomes an impression derived from a previous expression... from the "expressive" or "female" half of the other number line (the 6,7,8 and 9). Thus, physical expressions (the 6,7,8,9 of Addition/Diamond/Coins) influence psychic impressions (the 1,2,3,4 of Multiplication/Heart/Cups). While psychic expressions (the 6,7,8,9 of Multiplication/Heart/Cups) influence physical impressions (the 1,2,3,4 of Addition/Diamond/Coins). This kind of exchange then creates a vortex of knowing between each set of either positive or negative Minor Suits, as well as between the two rows of nine Major Trump cards.

-----

The Feedback Loop of Consciousness

In a lot of cultures there is great emphasis put upon conscious, analytical, calculating, straightforward thought. Because of survivalistic needs, our waking, conscious, straightforward, analytical, calculating, tangible, "real" Self gets worked and worked and worked. People on the go, making a living in the real world hardly give their other Self a chance to speak. Then... at night, dreams flood their minds, as their other side unloads its thoughts, feelings and emotions for the conscious mind to hear. But, most don't listen, even then. Each side of our consciousness has a story to tell, and a captive audience to tell it to, but all too often, we don't listen. Then... we go to a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, psychologist or perhaps a tarot card reader, to have them tell us what our other side is saying! That's the way things work in an unhealthy mind. In a healthy mind, both sides of consciousness listen to each other. In a healthy mind, both sides influence each other... as a master... as well as serve each other... as a slave, creating a loop of impressions and expressions that perpetuate each other's existence, and lead to transformative experiences [1 Corinthians 7:4].

As already mentioned... in nature, rotation is a universal concept. Reciprocity is a concept that creates rotation - one thing influencing another in a manner that is reciprocal creates a flow of content about a midpoint or axis of exchange. On a grand scale exchanges of content about a central axis create spiraling galaxies and spinning planets. On a smaller scale, such exchanges of content can describe the relationship of a healthy mind, where one side of consciousness actually listens to the other, and exchanges content back and forth with ease. Thus, the healthiest person is one who doesn't need a tarot deck to know what their Binary Buddy is saying to them - they just listen.

Thus it is being suggested in this essay, that a healthy mind is one that listens... with both ears! It is also being suggested that when we do this, we create the potential for an ever augmenting series of transformations and discoveries of knowing that, if pushed far enough, and well enough, can come to resemble a feedback loop of consciousness where each output of content intensifies subsequent input, causing input to intensify subsequent output... etc. etc. ad infinitum, or... as long as our energy and enthusiasm can last. In a mechanical feedback loop, energy can last as long as a plug stays in the wall sucking electricity from a power plant. In a human, energy runs out. But, the idea is the same... by listening with both ears - so to speak - we create a feedback loop of consciousness that provides the greatest transformative power of all. Look at the spiral shapes in the Vortex of Knowing diagram... they look like ears! It is being suggested that we listen with both of those ears of consciousness in order to "know" everything there is to know.

Below is another diagram, illustrating just the "eye" portion of the above mentioned spiraling "hurricane" or Vortex of Knowing. When a person is said to be "on a roll" or when an athlete is "in a zone" or when an artist achieves that "relaxed focus" of creativity, they are cycling through this "eye" or Feedback Loop of Consciousness... or as I would guess Mr. Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book FLOW: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (mentioned in the essay Stuck in the Mudaphor) would put it - experiencing flow... or optimal experience. They are cycling around and around this chart at ever increasing rates of speed, providing ever increasing levels of satisfaction in their knowing of things.

The suits of Addition/Diamond/Coins and Subtraction/Club/Staves are the suits of Reckoning. The suits of Multiplication/Heart/Cups and Division/Spade/Sword are the suits of Imagining. The positive suits lead to ever augmenting levels of knowing about positive things. The negative suits lead to ever augmenting levels of knowing about negative things.

Sometimes a slow approach is appropriate. Other times it is better to work fast. Sometimes long hours of meditation can pull people who are more naturally stuck in their reckoning mind, out, and into their imagining mind. Other times working fast can prevent people who are more naturally stuck in their reckoning mind to not overthink things, and instead do the letting go required to enter the SubConscious and UnConscious. Other people don't need to be pulled this way or that at all. With either approach, however, successful use of the Vortex of Knowing will cause all intuition to be realized and instinct to be expressed. Each expression, will become feedback that tells our consciousness knowing is at hand. Becoming so impressed by such feedback, consciousness will continue to collect and connect dots - metaphorically speaking - for as long as it can. If the expression of our reckoning doesn't jibe with our imagining, we have to choose whether to allow the expression to impress our imagining or not. If the expression of our imagining doesn't jibe with our reckoning, we have to choose whether to allow the expression to impress our reckoning or not. Each expression is feedback that impresses. If we never "sober up" and give ourselves a "reality check" about how our imaginings jibe with established, beliefs about reality, we become delusional. If we never "relax" or "let go" and give ourselves a "fantasy check" about how our reckonings jibe with divine, archetypal patterns we become soulless robots.

The wisest people are the ones who listen to that needle in the record groove with both ears!

-----

The Intoxication of Path Working

The feedback loop of consciousness is a circle. But... as it represents a mechanism that augments our knowledge, we see how the path or our evolving knowledge resembles a spiral. Each of us has our own spiral of knowledge, or "record groove" being cut by the needle of life experiences. Collectively, societies have their spiral of knowledge, or "record groove" being cut by a needle of life experience. This spiral is our history. And in some people's minds it is also our future. In other words, some would suggested that the groove is not being cut by us, but is only being played by us, and that this record groove has a finite end already laid out before us, that represents our last days. But whether cut by us, or played out by us, the metaphor of a spiral can be useful in illustrating how we can listen with both ears.

When our minds contemplate something other than our immediate survival, we tend to approach thought in varying ways. One of the most important dichotomies of thought yet revealed is the difference we see between Left-Brained and Right-Brained thinking. L-Brained thought tends to fit the Male or Reckoning side of our Vortex of Knowing, while R-Brained thought tends to fit the Female or Imagining side of our Vortex of Knowing. One side is good at collecting dots, the other side is good at connecting dots. One is more linear, the other more spatial. By using a spiral shape, we can illustrate how these two forms of thought approach the same exact content of information.

If we only listen with one ear, we only process information one way. Both methods are helpful to achieving transformation.

The diagram above shows how the same content, culled from our own personal "record groove" of experience, or from the Akashic Record groove of collective experience can be thought of in two very different ways. In the war between the sexes, where each one goes to their strengths and accuses the other of missing what's actually important, the female side will accuse the male of being too linear and missing important connections... while the male side will accuse the female of making too many connections and seeing things that aren't really there or not really important. Many a time a book has been written that is full of history and fact, but lacking in any meaningful insight, because of just regurgitating facts without making any meaningful connections. And many a book has been written that is full of wild fantastic notions of unbelievable connections that ignore established fact or common sense, and stand with no solid grounding. Things work out the best when the dots that are collected form elegant patterns when connected. Often times, the allure of making connections is taken too far, resulting in patterns that are ugly. Most people believe that nature is beautiful. Thus... things like Sacred Geometry emerge as a method of merging these two ways of thinking... by taking analytical points of mathematics and drawing connecting lines between important points to make patterns that we then believe to be sacred.

In the example of pattern-making given above, the resulting pattern is not very pretty, and therefore would probably never be considered very sacred. But.. in a small way, it does resemble the many crisscrossing paths of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life diagram... thus reminding us of that diagram's ability to combine these diverse methods of thought into a single mechanism. In The Tree of Life diagram, there is both a linear path of ascent and descent, as well as many connecting paths of influence that lead to pleasing patterns, like triangles of companionship between important concepts. Thus, one cannot really study The Tree of Life to its fullest extent without utilizing BOTH of these opposing approaches. In the study of Kabbalah, neither one of these approaches is considered Master to the other. They are just two different ways of seeing the same thing. At least to some.

The Kabbalistic Tree of Life is good, but... often... when given permission to utilize our pattern recognizing mind, many go way too far. The Tree of Life has this problem, as people who are not satisfied with the connecting paths that are suggested add more and more, so as to be able to connect anything they want to anything else they want, and thereby draw any kind of theoretical conclusion of philosophy or theosophy they desire. The intoxication of "path working" is a very real phenomena, and often people will ignore the ugliness of the patterns that result because of how strong their desire is to see certain things connected, in order to put forth a point that they feel is valid and important. They feel that if they can point to a connection or pattern that promotes a particular point of view, such a pattern - being found within the confines of such a sacred document - will seal the deal of their argument, and cause others to get on board with a belief. But... ugly patterns, or awkwardly convoluted paths only satisfy the corrupt and lazy. For a pattern to really seal a deal and cause belief, many look for beauty and aesthetics... symmetry and geometric harmonies, as well as compatibility with the male side of life. Without such checks and balances, the "connecting" people become delusional, and the "collecting" people become skeptical. Each one then goes to their strengths and hunkers down... and the war between the sexes goes on.

-----

EXTRA CREDIT

Place the "eye" of the Feedback Loop of Consciousness, and the two spirals that create it, over the other "map of consciousness" diagram presented at the beginning of this essay... placing the "eye" portion in the gray area of the MidConscious, and observe how they both say the same thing. Experience is most transformative, or optimal, when our male and female sides work together! That is the message of this study of tarot... and existence, and consciousness. However... the next book you read about tarot might very well tell you something else.

The next book you read about tarot might very well tell you that, when working with tarot, and trying to interpret meaning, it is best to fight all urges to be rational or logical or straightforward in thinking. And thus, such books will begin ushering you into the ambiguous world of symbolism, metaphor, the subconscious and the unconscious. In doing so, there is a good chance it will make the assumption that you are currently unimaginative, and locked into your conscious, logical, rational mind, and will attempt to immerse you in the opposite realm. The authors of these books may even try to convince you that everything worth knowing about tarot comes from the female side, and that the male side is in fact a hindrance to the successful use of tarot. Once lured into the realm of the metaphor, you may find yourself stuck there like so many others (see the essay Stuck in the Mudaphor elsewhere on this site). Eventually you may become completely delusional, and gullible to the belief of anything anyone puts before you. The intoxication of imagination, and all the possible connections it can make, will overtake you like an addiction, and you will join the army of subtle thinkers who wage war on the straightforward (see the essay Imagine a Reason to Believe elsewhere on this site). If you are a woman, you might eventually learn to hate and/or pity men and reject your male side. If you are a man, you might eventually learn to hate and/or pity men and your male side. What will stop you from going that far? You need to know.

This study of tarot, existence, and consciousness asks you to take a step back from this popular view of tarot and life, and ask yourself: "What have I done today to balance out my thinking?" Try asking: "In what way have I traversed both the female AND the male half of the Vortex of Knowing, or The Feedback Loop of Consciousness?" Or... "What have I done to sober up from the intoxication of imagination?" Abandoning the male side has its place and purpose. So do it, when it does. But don't permanently forsake the male component within, because the male side has a purpose too... a purpose every person studying and using tarot... or studying the nature of existence and consciousness should understand.